If I asked you to grab a bottle of cola and drop a piece of mentos into it, you’d probably say: “What?! No! It’s going to explode immediately!”
In men with premature ejaculation (PE), any sexual stimulation is just like that piece of mentos, capable of causing an almost immediate eruption of semen from the penis. But while it is easy to avoid tossing mentos into a cola bottle, it’s not as easy for men with PE to avoid sex altogether. In this article, we will explore some natural ways to keep that fizz under control and put a stopper to PE.
What is Premature Ejaculation (PE)?
Check out our previous blog post that covers the basic things that every man should know about PE, including its symptoms, causes and treatments.
Simply put, PE is when a man ejaculates sooner than he or his partner would like, typically within 1 minute of entering his partner.
8 Natural Ways to Last Longer in Bed
1. The stop-start method
Also known as “edging”, you can perform this method solo during masturbation or with your partner. It involves sexual stimulation until you feel that you are approaching “the point of no return”. Then, stop the stimulation for about 30 seconds or until your urge to climax passes. Afterwards, start the stimulation again. Try to repeat this process a few times before finally allowing yourself to orgasm.
This method improves your control over the timing of ejaculation. A study has shown that while long-term benefits of this method have not been conclusive yet, about 45 to 65 percent of men who tried this method saw short-term benefits in prolonging their time to ejaculation.
2. The squeeze method
Similar to the previous method, you can perform this method solo or with your partner. It involves sexual stimulation until you recognise that you are approaching orgasm and ejaculation. At this point, get your partner or yourself to squeeze the tip of your penis for a few seconds or until your urge to climax passes. Repeat this process as many times as you desire. This method improves your awareness of the sensations that lead up to climax, allowing you to gain better control in future.
While Masters and Johnson, the founders of the squeeze method, maintain that the majority (more than 85 percent) of men with premature ejaculation can be successfully treated with the squeeze method, other clinical trials have shown more varied results. However, it’s still worth the try, as the squeeze method is still highly raved about and often used amongst men with PE.
3. Getting busy before really getting busy
Some therapists advise younger men to masturbate 1 to 2 hours before sex. However, do note that this technique is less effective in older men, as they may find it more difficult to achieve an erection later on during actual sexual intercourse. Not only can this lead to secondary impotence, but it can also damage the man’s confidence greatly.
Another downside of this method is that in reality, sex can be spontaneous and you’re not always able to predict when you have sex. Consequently, it would be difficult for you to plan when to masturbate.
4. Using condoms
Use a condom to help reduce sensation and desensitize your penis sufficiently so that you can last longer. The thicker the condom, the better it is. If you’re not planning to start a family, this method also prevents pregnancy, duh, killing two birds with one stone. Some condoms are also specially designed for climax control. These condoms are lined with lidocaine, providing an additional numbing effect for your penis.
An important thing to note is that you have to put on the condom early enough. If you wear it only after you have been excessively stimulated, or are very close to the point of no return, even putting on the condom can cause you to ejaculate, nulling all your efforts.
5. Let your mind wander around
Another common technique is to distract yourself by thinking of something else that is non-sexual while you’re sexually stimulated. It can be as simple as naming the players of your favourite soccer team or naming all the brands of cereal that you know. Really, it could be anything.
While some men find this useful, others find that their erections weaken or disappear completely. Depending on personal beliefs, some men also feel that distracting themselves with other thoughts during sex is dishonest to their partner.
6. Switch up your sex position
Studies have shown that passive positions, most commonly the “woman-on-top” position, are effective in delaying ejaculation. With your partner on top, she can easily pull away when you are close to the point of no return. If you are going for active positions, get your partner to lie on her back while you enter standing up. Your penis should be facing downwards slightly and rubbing against her pubic bone. While this may not be the most comfortable position, the discomfort actually helps delay ejaculation. Taking shorter thrusts has also been proven to be very effective in prolonging your time to ejaculation.
7. Pelvic floor exercises (Kegel exercises)
Contrary to popular belief, these exercises aren’t only for people with vaginas. Stronger pelvic floor muscles will strengthen your ability to delay ejaculation. Follow these simple steps to perform these exercises:
- Identify the correct muscles. In order to find your pelvic floor muscles, stop urinating midstream or tighten the muscles that stop you from farting. The muscles that you have just squeezed are your pelvic floor muscles. Once you have identified these muscles, you can do pelvic floor exercises in any position, although many men find it easier to start off with lying down.
- Do the exercises correctly. Squeeze and tighten your pelvic floor muscles and hold the contraction for 3 seconds. Remember to concentrate on using your pelvic floor muscles, and not your glutes, thighs or hip muscles. Avoid holding your breath while doing this exercise. Instead, you should breathe freely. Then, release and relax for 3 seconds. Try this a few times in a row. When you feel that your muscles are getting stronger, you can try this exercise in other positions, such as while sitting, standing, or even walking.
- Repeat. You can’t possibly expect to go from having a flabby tummy to having a rock hard six-pack within 1 day of exercise, right? Likewise, don’t treat your pelvic floor exercises as a one-off thing! These muscles can only be strengthened through consistent efforts. For best results, you should aim for at least 3 sets of 10 repetitions a day.
A study published in the 2014 Therapeutic Advances in Urology found that the majority of men that they studied managed to gain control over their ejaculatory reflex after 12 weeks of pelvic floor exercises. However, every person is different. If you don’t see a large improvement after 12 weeks, don’t be too disheartened! Continue the exercise regularly and combine it with other methods to help you last longer.
8. Practice, practice, practice!
Even if practice does not make perfect, it will at least, make progress. Some men may simply not have enough sexual practice to have good control over their ejaculation. Openly explore pleasure via masturbation. This will help you familiarise yourself with the sensations that lead up to orgasm. With that, you can slowly regain control over your ejaculation.
Let’s Put a Stopper on that Exploding Soda Bottle
While PE is not life-threatening, it is relationship-threatening. You may feel ashamed, upset or even angry, while your partner may feel hurt and less connected to you. Sex is a fundamental block to many couple’s relationships. Don’t let PE destroy that. PE is a medical condition and it’s not your fault. Talk to your partner openly about it and deal with it together. Many couples also find sex therapy and counselling very helpful.
Another option is to seek medical treatment. With Arx, you don’t have to leave your house at all. Simply fill up a short questionnaire about your symptoms and medical history, and connect with one of our friendly doctors. Goodbye, long waits and judgemental looks at the clinic!
- Mohee, A., & Eardley, I. (2011). Medical therapy for premature ejaculation. Therapeutic Advances in Urology, 3(5), 211–222. https://doi.org/10.1177/1756287211424172
- Holland, K. (2019, April 8). How to Use the Squeeze Technique, the Stop-Start Technique, and More. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/squeeze-technique.
- Premature Ejaculation: Causes & Treatment. Cleveland Clinic. (n.d.). https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/15627-premature-ejaculation.
- Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research. (2020, August 27). Premature ejaculation. Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/premature-ejaculation/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20354905.
- Pastore, A. L., Palleschi, G., Fuschi, A., Maggioni, C., Rago, R., Zucchi, A., Costantini, E., & Carbone, A. (2014). Pelvic floor muscle rehabilitation for patients with lifelong premature ejaculation: a novel therapeutic approach. Therapeutic Advances in Urology, 6(3), 83–88. https://doi.org/10.1177/1756287214523329
- Johnson, J. (2019, December 23). Stopping premature ejaculation: Remedies and exercise. Medical News Today. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/327388.